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Palm-Mensa
Palm Beach County Mensa Newsletter
October, 2004
Contents
Halloween High School Diary
by Brenna Marie Brucker
[Reprinted from Phoenix, newsletter of Western Pennsylvania Mensa, November, 2003;
Eric Starbuck, Editor]
One gloomy Monday morning as I raced through the cemetery on my way to school, a hand thrust forth from a grave and grabbed my ankle. I kicked, screamed and finally wrenched myself loose from the clutches of the undead. Scary? Not hardly. Just another school day at Halloween High, where every day is a dreary Monday.
Halloween High is situated on a small ridge in the middle of a graveyard. There the unhappy inhabitants of Spookyville send their childlings to school. Of course to outsiders this community may seem unusual. When prying foreigners question them about the strange circumstances of their town, they explain it by saying, "We are French."
For those of us lucky enough to reach home room, roll call presents unseen difficulties. In part, empty chairs can be accounted for from the back packs and boots retrieved from the cemetery by the school hounds. However, other chairs only appear empty for the students delight in wearing their cloaks of invisibility.
Rancid Ron, who sits next to me in home room, carefully pulls another letter from his shoe. He goes through this same ritual every morning. The letters are always postmarked and addressed to him yet they are in his own handwriting. He sends these letter to himself and pretends they are from a girl named "Sylvia." He professes that he will only date girls named Sylvia.
The morning announcements are directed to the new football rules, "Players must have no more than three arms and three legs. Helmets are still optional."
The day passes swiftly. In English class, we are working on the typical assignment, our own obituaries. The Zombies have an edge here for they have standard obituaries that they have perfected by using them time and again.
Chemistry lab is much more practical for we are working on a truth serum to cure pathological liars. This has caused our Chemistry teacher to be somewhat paranoid. Ms. Cleo has advised him that he is the reincarnation of Christopher Columbus which he claims makes him the owner of the entire the New World, except New Jersey. We are not permitted to come near him with our truth serum mixtures.
At lunch, Fabio, our class President, boasts that he has answered every e mail spam message that has ever been sent to him. Of late, he has discovered that not only is he the son of Ed McMahon but he is also the son of the founder of the largest Siberian bikini factory. He is leaving tomorrow to claim his fortune in the tundra town of "Frigidgolia," where the population varies with the running of the wolves.
At day's end, the same droll announcement calls for the Zombies to clear the hallways of their discarded limbs. The Principal complains that the walls of his house are bleeding again and Ms. Gulch is warming up her broom for the ride home. Then off into the gloom of Spookyville, where it is always Monday morning.
Member News
Our group totals 326 at the end of August. These members rejoined, moved in, or became new Menda members recently: Kevin Byrnes, Boca Raton; Dr. Jay Monfred, Boynton Beach; James Muro, Boca Raton; Dave Parkerson, Jupiter; Emma Parkerson, Jupiter; Gordon Parks, Boynton Beach; Peter Pinter, Boca Raton; Jarret Roth, West Palm Beach; and Linda Stabile, Delray Beach. Our condolences to the family of Joseph Lattyak of Palm Beach Gardens who passed away recently. Welcome to the new people and welcome back to the renewers!! Come to an event or plan your own event-- we would like to meet you!
Other News
Mensa of Jacksonville and Tallahassee Mensa made the Top Ten list recently. Those groups experienced a high percentage of new members, 9.04% and 6.82% respectively. Along with eight other groups, these two Florida region groups made outstanding progress in gaining new Ms.
Grammar Lesson
"Out of the Loud Hound of Darkness" (Karen Elizabeth Gordon) is a fun guide to grammar peopled by characters such as Constanza Zermatress, Gavril Dark, and Sigismund Lolotte Flint-Page. If you think these names sound strange, wait til you actually get to the grammar lessons. Forthwith--the difference between, and usage of, "acidulous" and "assiduous."
Acidulous contains acid and means slightly sour in taste or manner.
Example: To complement the fig, pistachio, and finocchio caprice, the chef whipped up an acidulous splash of hazelnut oil, oxalis, and lime juice, with a pinch of powdered pfeffernuss.
Assiduous means industrious, conscientious, diligent, constant in attention and application; unceasing, persistent.
Example: Assiduous and mindful of the most persnickety punctilio, Jacaranda filled in for the general factotum, Amaranthia, whenever she slipped off for a meeting of the Belladonna Mafiosi in the raffish capital of Blegue.
Got it? Now you, too, can be ever mindful of the difference between these two like-sounding words. Find more in "Out of the Loud Hound of Darkness."
Another bite of "Hound:"
nez retrousse -- turned up nose, snub nose.
Example: With her retrousse nose, her uplifted buttocks and eyebrows, her tautened chin, and silicone lips, Bambi returned from the Face Up Clinic with most of her physiognomy in a state of startled suspense.
Note: The opinions expressed herein are those of the individual authors and DO NOT reflect opinions of Palm Beach County Mensa, its officers, or of American Mensa, Ltd., which holds NO opinions.
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